All Things Anne

Once upon a time, there was a girl who did not like earwigs, because she was afraid of being pinched by them. Once upon a time, her little brother (who always used to play with earwigs) got pinched.

Unfortunately, the house that this girl lived in happened to be infested with earwigs, for some odd, coincidental reason. Fortunately, she managed to avoid them, for the most part. Except the one night she was sitting there and suddenly felt a tickle on the back of her neck. She thought it was the tag of her shirt and reached up…and an earwig landed on her lap. She had a mini-freak and jumped up…and the stupid earwig disappeared!! She felt very creepy-crawly, and changed pajamas (from the ones she had on) and went to bed.

But fast forward now. One time her father had had an earwig in his ear. So when she was laying in her bed, her hands curled up by her pillow, and felt a tickle on her hand…and looked in the dim light onto the evil form of an earwig…which had been BY HER PILLOW…she almost decided to sleep somewhere else. But telling herself she shouldn’t be so silly, she positively couldn’t bear the thought of an earwig in her ear. She imagined the scenario: “AHHH!! MOM! THERE’S AN EARWIG IN MY EAR! I FEEL IT TICKLING!!! GET IT OUT!!!!!!!!” No way. So she rolled up a square of toilet paper and inserted it into one of her ears. And did the same with the other. And slept very peacefully.

The only downside was, she couldn’t hear the guy talking on the radio very well.

Oh well.