All Things Anne

If you’ve never been at our house while making eggrolls (and I know none of you have), it is quite an interesting process. Last night, it was more so! You see, every March comes a certain holiday: St. Patrick’s Day. Around that holiday, something goes on sale: cabbage! So what do we do? You guessed it, we make eggrolls!

On Thursday while Mom was out she got four (small) heads of cabbage, while us girls were out on Friday she got eggroll wraps, onions, and carrots. Friday night we ate all the cabbage in borscht, so in order to have eggrolls on Saturday, Ben had to run to the store and get cabbage. He took Eric and they went down to IGA. He got four large heads of cabbage, and the checker guy said “Oh, having something with…cabbage?”
“Yep, eggrolls,” Ben said.
“Must be quite a lot of eggrolls!” the guy said.
“Yep, we have thirteen people in our family.”
“All…brothers and sisters and crap?” the guy said.
“No crap, just brothers and sisters,” Ben corrected.

So, it was around four pm, and I usually start dinner around then…but Dad was recording in his studio (fancy name for the tiny office he has with all our music equipment) beneath the kitchen, so nobody could really go in the kitchen unless they tiptoed. So dinner was put off a little.

After Dad finished, it was near six or so. Mom delegated people to start chopping stuff…me to fry hamburger, Eric to chop cabbage, Kate to chop onions, Em to peel and shred onions, and…I don’t know who else for what else. So, people kind of did everything…someone chopped beansprouts (I don’t remember who), everything else got cooked and chopped…so by eight, it was all ready to cook. I thought dinner would be in half an hour or so, just had to wrap and fry them.
Not so.

Joe was called to chop another head of cabbage, and the mix cooked (by Mom). Joe seasoned it (it was really good), and Beth and Rase got everything ready for the Wrapping Procedure. Unfortunately, our Wrapping Procedure was a little messed up because the wraps had been left out, and they were sticking together, and that severely decreased our wrapping time. Everybody wrapped…well not everybody, but most everybody. Ben, Em, Kate, Tess, Rase, Jay, Abby, and I wrapped. Beth kept our bowls supplied with “gook” as everyone affectionately calls the filling; and Joe and Eric fried (the coveted position I think, because they get to have taste tests!).

By the time everything was done frying and stuff was cleaned up and the table was set, it was nearly 10pm. Talk about a late dinner! This time we made 120 eggrolls…and folks, that just wasn’t enough. Everybody wanted leftovers…cold, greasy eggrolls at midnight. Although when everybody went to bed, it was eleven…but anyway.

After dinner, there was some of that hot Asian mustard left…you know, the kind you get in powder form and you mix with water, then mix with ketchup? Well, at least that’s how we have it. Dad has it straight…just dips his eggrolls in the mustard. That stuff is potent! It’s not like spicy spice, it goes straight up into your sinuses.
Anyway, there was the little dish of mustard left. “Anybody want to see who’s toughest?” Dad asked, eyeing Ben. “We’ll take a teaspoon of mustard and level it off, and you have to eat it. Whaddya think, Ben?”
Ben’s like “Noooo…”
And Joe goes, “If Ben wouldn’t eat it to prove he’s tough, and if I do…”
Dad gave him a spoon and Dad got a spoon and they leveled off their mustard. I moved from behind Dad so I could see them both. They both licked the mustard off the spoons and swallowed.
Both turned beet-red and made horrible faces and grabbed their water.
Then Dad grabbed the bowl again and got another half-spoonful…so Joe did…

Now you know who’s the toughest.

And dat’s da truf, folks!