All Things Anne

The Adventure of the Chair
or, The Redneck Home Improvement Show

Once upon a time there was a family who at one time had very nice office chairs, but over the years of use, had become…well, not-so-nice. One was a trick chair–if you leaned too far back, you fell over. The back was broken on another so it was able to fold up like a clam. So, when the Mom saw an offer for a free office chair, she couldn’t pass it up. So she brought the chair home, and it sat in the living room for a few days.

For some reason, this chair developed a terrible habit while being in the living room. Somehow, the “feet” where the wheels attached to had somehow moved up the stick thingy underneath, so it was kind of high and dry on the middle thing. So, this morning, the Dad and the Oldest Brother, Ben, decided to do something about it. The Dad put a board underneath, and each he and the Oldest Brother had a board, which they put on the “feet”. Each whacked at it with a hammer.

It actually worked, too! Ben went through two boards though, to Dad’s one. But it’s at least a “sittable” chair now!

The Adventure of the Cup
The rule is, after dinner, everyone who has chores in the kitchen (everyone older than Tess) has to stay in there until it’s all cleaned. Quite recently, Dad’s been taking pills every night after dinner, because that’s when he remembers. Well, as soon as Dad gets up, that’s like the “all clear” signal and everyone asks to be excused and gets up and starts cleaning. More than once, by the time Dad gets back to the table, his cup is gone. “It’s called efficiency!” we try to say. So, he’s taken to saying “Don’t touch my cup!” while he goes in the other room to get his pills. Sometimes, we like to play jokes on him.

Joke #1: Few weeks ago, Mom bought some milk that was on sale, and while Dad was going to get his pills, Beth…um…disobeyed him (with Mom’s help) and dumped his water out and filled it with milk. That was a pleasant surprise!

Joke #2: Tonight Joe played a HILARIOUS joke on Dad, though. Em had the same kind of cup as Dad, only hers was about empty, and Dad’s was half full. Dad got up and we asked to be excused, but he said “I’ll think about it.” He left. Joe quickly switched his cup with Em’s. Dad came in and looked at his cup, and stopped. “Hey!” he said, then started chasing Mom around saying it was her fault, and tickling her.
“Switch it!!” I mouthed to Joe. He did.
Dad finished tickling Mom and came back and saw his cups switched. “It’s YOUR fault!” he said to me.
“No!!” I said, and Ben said it wasn’t my fault either.
“Oh, so it’s YOUR fault!” Dad said to Ben.
“No!!” he said.
“Whose fault was it??” Dad asked. We all pointed to Joe. “Aha!! I’m going to pour the water on your head!” Dad said.
“It’s your water!!” Joe said.
It was kind of a crazy few minutes, but we clarified YES it was his water, YES it was Joe’s fault.

It was fun.