Mom is Dead.
PLEASE FULLY READ BEFORE COMING TO ANY CONCLUSIVE CONCLUSIONS. THANK YOU.
Folks, I’m sorry to bring you the sad news that Mom passed away at approximately 12:15pm today.
“Anne, could you take my blood pressure?” she asked.
“Ok.” I got up and went over to her to take her blood pressure. I put the cuff on her, adjusted it so it wasn’t over her elbow, put the thingy in my ears, straightened the tubes (they’re in a certain order), and proceeded to pump the cuff up. “That’s weird,” I said. “It went real fast from about 138 down, then around 60 went thump, thump, thump, slower.” It wasn’t quite like a heartbeat though.
So I let all the air out and pumped the cuff back up. Nothing…the pointer dropped past 130; 120; 100; nothing. Finally, down by 60, again I heard it, thump thump thump, but not quite like a heartbeat.
“Let me try,” Mom said. I gave her the ear thingy, and pumped the cuff back up. Mom listened, and got a weird look on her face like I did. “I heard it after 60, but it wasn’t like a heartbeat either!”
Mom was officially pronounced to be either dead or heartless at approximately 12:27pm. She is survived by her dear husband and her twelve children, all of whom will enjoy a wonderful birthday dinner (for Anne) and dessert tonight at 6pm. Y’all are invited.
In case you haven’t realized, it’s totally a joke that Mom died; however, it IS true that we couldn’t get a heartbeat from the bloodpressure cuff! I think she needs a new one because she is most definitely alive.
This entry was posted on Sunday, December 16th, 2007 at 1:57 pm is filed under Family, Funny, Random, Special Occasions, and is tagged birthday, Me, Mom, Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS feed.
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In case you haven't noticed, my name is Anne, but in RL it's pronounced Annie. At this moment in time I happen to be 21 years old. Herein you will find: The rants, rambles, and otherwise uninteresting happenings in the life of...well, ME, you might say. 
December 16th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Poor Mom! My heart goes out to the family
December 16th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
As I casually visited your blog i was kinda’ freaked to read that Mrs. Mclean was dead! I had just talked to Joe last night and he didn’t even say anything about her being dead, so he must not have been close to her.
I would love to come and celebrate with you - I mean mourn! Um, yes, desert sounds great. ;)
My condolences I guess God needed another flower for his garden….
Eric
December 16th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Oh dear!
How devastating to find one’s self to be dead whilst alive!!
Happy Birthday Dinner Time!
December 16th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
by the way, I tried “nope” to the “Are you a spammer” question.
Needless to say, it didn’t work.
Didn’t believe me.
hmph.
December 17th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Hahaha! Eric IM’ed me and was all “Mrs. McLean is dead!”
I was like: What????
LOL!
And then he tells me to read your blog. So I find this. Hahaha… off with all yours head!
HAPPYBIRTHDAY!
HAPPYBIRTHDAY!
HAPPYBIRTHDAY!
Yay! It’s your 21 BIRTHDAY! (As if you didn’t know) ;)
-Paul
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Oh, my goodness! Too funny!
December 24th, 2007 at 10:53 am
Thank you, Eric!
@Chicki Silly, you have to say “No” not “nope”!
@Paul: Haha! Thanks
:D